I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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