my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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