if you like me you must not know who I am
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
