So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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