Your mouth is God's brothel.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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