just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
