does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
