HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
