The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You are the jesus of drinking
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
