grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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