Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is it because I queefed?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
