I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Randomize
