so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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