he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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