She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
