I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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