Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
