I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
