I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
