Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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