Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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