Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
