GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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