he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
