your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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