Got a toothbrush?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize