dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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