im about as happy as oj after his trial
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
