Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
