i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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