It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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