What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
