It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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