I just threw up on my dentist
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
