i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize