its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize