i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
of course. lets lasso hookers.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
