giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
