my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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