There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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