Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
