this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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