4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
