So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
