I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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