i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I can't turn off my feet"
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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