White coat. Heels.
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Let's get the cat blown out
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
