Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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