how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
