omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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