i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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