isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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