he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
