hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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