Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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