you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Boobs are out for the taking
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
