looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize