I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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