physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
