The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
