Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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