I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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