Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
