wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
