I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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