Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
